I've always been the type to push boundaries and limits, I never know when I've gone too far until it's too late. I think I've finally figured out why I do this though. I push and push and push until it's almost impossible to go anywhere. I think I do this so I can see who really wants to be in my life and who doesn't. My life isn't for the faint hearted. That's not to say I don't make my fair share of mistakes, Lord knows I do, but I can't have weak people in my life-- they can't keep up. I think if you really love someone though then you'll stay. It'll all be worth it.
I need to learn when to say enough is enough. I've never know when to say uncle, I'd just let you twist my arm until it falls off. I think this is true for a lot of relationships in my life. Not just romantically, but with my friends and family as well. I have a strong personality, I know. My way or the highway.. I've always been like that. If you love me you'll stick around because I know I'm worth it. I'm a really good friend. I'll always be there for you, through thick and thin. I love my family and I try to make them proud, but I am my own person. I love my girlfriend even when she's making me want to pull my hair out. I don't think relationships are meant to be all ooey-gooey, people piss you off and they should. I'm not the kind of person that wants someone to agree with everything I say and let me walk all over them. Like I said, you need a backbone if you're going to stick with me.
I have bad days, even weeks, but at the end of the day I still have so much love in my heart. Even when I think everything is going wrong and falling apart hearing I love you fixes everything. Three simple words can turn my day around. Everyone wants to be loved. If you have love then you have happiness and really what else do you need in life?
So I've decided to just live. Everyone makes mistakes, life is scary. And if people can't handle me and my mood swings and silly decisions then that's okay, I can't handle their disapproving eyes and mean voices. So we're better off just going our separate ways.
Bottom line-- I love everyone in my life and I know there's a reason for each and every person in it. I know there's light at the end of the tunnel and everything is going to be a-okay!
