Tommorrow

Tomorrow is my first day of being special needs day camp coordinator. I'm scared I'm going to fail and I'm going to be horrible. Woof. I just hope I don't puke.

words.

Words can be ugly and mean. Sometimes they can even knock the wind out of you. Words can turn your world upside down in two seconds flat. Words stay with you forever.

i don't even know what to call this one.

When I was little my bed had to be made and room needed to be clean before I was allowed to do anything else. Now that I don't live at home I never make my bed and my room is always a mess.

I've always been the type to push boundaries and limits, I never know when I've gone too far until it's too late. I think I've finally figured out why I do this though. I push and push and push until it's almost impossible to go anywhere. I think I do this so I can see who really wants to be in my life and who doesn't. My life isn't for the faint hearted. That's not to say I don't make my fair share of mistakes, Lord knows I do, but I can't have weak people in my life-- they can't keep up. I think if you really love someone though then you'll stay. It'll all be worth it.

I need to learn when to say enough is enough. I've never know when to say uncle, I'd just let you twist my arm until it falls off. I think this is true for a lot of relationships in my life. Not just romantically, but with my friends and family as well. I have a strong personality, I know. My way or the highway.. I've always been like that. If you love me you'll stick around because I know I'm worth it. I'm a really good friend. I'll always be there for you, through thick and thin. I love my family and I try to make them proud, but I am my own person. I love my girlfriend even when she's making me want to pull my hair out. I don't think relationships are meant to be all ooey-gooey, people piss you off and they should. I'm not the kind of person that wants someone to agree with everything I say and let me walk all over them. Like I said, you need a backbone if you're going to stick with me.

I have bad days, even weeks, but at the end of the day I still have so much love in my heart. Even when I think everything is going wrong and falling apart hearing I love you fixes everything. Three simple words can turn my day around. Everyone wants to be loved. If you have love then you have happiness and really what else do you need in life?

So I've decided to just live. Everyone makes mistakes, life is scary. And if people can't handle me and my mood swings and silly decisions then that's okay, I can't handle their disapproving eyes and mean voices. So we're better off just going our separate ways.

Bottom line-- I love everyone in my life and I know there's a reason for each and every person in it. I know there's light at the end of the tunnel and everything is going to be a-okay!

21.

21.

I think I'm going to miss being 5'10 with green eyes and the name Christina when I go out now. I feel like she was my alter ego or something cool like that. Being from California gave me this fun edge, but I feel like a chapter is closing in my life. I'm saying goodbye to Christina and all that goes along with her. So bottoms up to Adrienne and new beginnings with wonderful people. I can't wait.

happiness.

I have been in such a good mood the past two days for many reasons.. Sunshine, my Dad's coming home... finally, my birthday is Monday, Jess, pizza and beer, my wonderful friends, my cute grandparents, registering for my last year of college, class rings, fun robes, black nail polish, nike running shorts, rainbows, cowboy boots, nice nurses at the health center, pictures,House, and cloves.

I can't wait for Monday! : )

love.

so thankful for them.

i always start this way.

My Gran died 8 days ago, and I've missed her every second since she has been gone. I thought I wouldn't be this upset when she died because she has been sick for so long. I was so wrong. I've learned a lot about myself since this has happened, and I feel like my outlook on life has changed. Every hour on this earth is precious. I was planning to see her in the morning last week, but she died 12 hours before I was going to be there. I didn't get to see her again.

Don't waste your life with regrets and mistakes. Live for today, and do what makes your happy. Know that everything is going to be okay. Say whatever you need to say because you don't know if you have tomorrow. I'm so thankful to have the people in my life that I have now, they've helped me through so much lately. I don't know where I would be without all of them.

catching up.

I've been neglecting my 30 Days.

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh

I don't think this needs an explanation.

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item

I can't remember anything so most days my planner saves my life. My cellphone, so superficial, I know but being in a long distance relationship means talking on the phone.

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day

She is so beautiful and I would LOVE to be married to Ellen for a day. : )

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory

I will never forget last summer. Everything about it impacted my life so much. I found out who I really was, and what I want. It was the best experience of my life.

Day 04- A picture of something you would like to do again.

Operation Purple. My Dad left this week of camp and even though these girls will never know it, they helped me the most that week.

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show

NCIS