silence.

Silence is the hardest part. Whenever something funny happens I want to tell her, but I can't, not anymore. I know I'll be okay though. Hopefully this feeling will past. I've lost so many people in my life lately. It's just a constant pain that never lets up. The stabbing pounding in my heart is a constant reminder that her love for me is gone. I didn't think it was possible for a heart to break so many times, but it keeps shattering a little more everyday. I don't expect everything to be perfect. I just want things to be okay. Is that too much to ask for?

"It comes in waves. There’s a lull and then another wave hits you. I just wanted you to know that it’s okay not to be fine sometimes."

"I feel like a weight has been lifted." Crack. "Sometimes feelings change." Crack. "Love isn't always enough." I didn't think it was possible for words to physically hurt me. It's not possible to put in words the pain I feel when words hit me. It's the same with memories. They've been coming on strong lately. I can't wait for this pain to pass. I'm ready to be ready to move on.

Tomorrow is another day. I will plaster a smile on my face, grit my teeth, and pretend everything is okay. Eventually the smile will come naturally, my jaw will loosen, and I won't have to pretend. Only I will know when I stop pretending and that's the way it should be. Everyday I get a little bit stronger.